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Into Your Eyes
I gaze into your eyes so deep, so deep
you show me a world almost cosmic
I feel like I've been waiting forever
I've never felt like this before
I think I'm falling; I can't let go
now that I'm here, there is no turning back
into your eyes I perish, into your soul
baby, let me show you, let me show you all the love I hold
A vice with a price
I was not ready for my twentieth birthday. Even less ready to celebrate it just two weeks after my father had passed away. I expected a book, a movie, the odd gift card. But, the present I received from my boyfriend was the most unusual. It wasn't a present adorned in bows, ribbons and frills. It wasn't stashed away beneath layers of crinkly paper. Nevertheless, it was no less valuable and under the circumstances, no less perfect. Never did I expect the two words "I quit", to be the cause of my smile.
Neil shared the same vice as my father, a vice that displeased me above all else. He was a chain smoker too. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer five years ago. After undergoing extensive chemotherapy and radiation treatment, he finally lost the battle, leaving me to grieve alone in the world. Smoking became one of those things I detested on a knee-jerk reaction; and when Neil quit, it was the biggest comfort anyone had given me.
My father always promised me the same
Of Halos and Horns
Do not be fooled by the halo
It is your crown of thorns
There is no such thing as saintlike
Only Evil disguising its devious horns
Where is your virtue ?
What more is there to pretend ?
Do you even see yourself
Through the web of lies you spin ?
This damage, how will you undo ?
For this deceit, how will you amend ?
Your spite, you deny
Your sins, you defend
Wallow in your pride
Serve none but yourself
The rest is sordid means to an end
Thriving in a world of your own devising
Conspiring in ways 'unique'
You are a pawn of your own game
The venom you incite poisons your heart
The soul is barren when it is weak,
You reap what you sow, not what you seek
The touch that withers and fades
Aspires the Phoenix at its rebuttal
With its last tremor, it erupts in flames
To sire a new dawn on the edge of the precipice
On fragile wings and shivers of subtle
You come alive in my dreams
You come to me
Together we fight my nightmares,
And you belong to me
Even in my dreams
I know this is untrue
I know I'll be awake,
But for now I want to be with you till I do
My nightmares are fringed with angst
The demons in pursuit, they lie
Together we shall conquer my battles
Release me from my bane,
You and I
I waited all my life for you, my savior
And now I know why
You have my heart, beloved
Without you, I shall die
EasterRemember what you love,
you with sand in your teeth
and the feral burn of hunger
in your eyes.
God sends his regrets.
He made you grasping and slow,
in a late hour
when the wine washed low.
Remember what you love.
Fall to your knees in the toss
and the swell, quell
the appetite of the cold black sea.
Beg blessings for your home
and the salt-sick trees.
Reach what lies near:
the fat-faced child, the sweet-soft lamb;
tether the tantrum, trickle the blood.
Offer psalms to what is holy,
whisper the name of what you love
as it bobs in the bleak mad sea.
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