It’s so quiet here tonight. The sound of my own breathing keeps jarring me awake. I can almost hear the beat of the pulsing light from my laptop blinking softly. If I lie very still, I can almost imagine the velvet patter of figmental raindrops splashing numbly on my balcony...can almost separate each missing breeze from the absent wind. I’m a far cry from sleep. My head pounds from the rhythm of blood rushing through my veins. How long have I been waiting to drift off? My throat feels parched. I try to move my limbs but my body does not obey. When was the last time I had a drink? I slowly take in a deep breath and gulp. The effort nearly tears through my throat. I hold my breath. I can hear it again now. There it is. That soft wailing noise...like the kind where her soul weeps and there’s no way to comfort it. It’s starting. The piercing screams that split the night...as though she will bleed to death from the anguish of it. I know those familiar sobs, those agonizing screams. I
He was never crude or vulgar with me, but he could be mean as hell. He could be cold-hearted for no reason. Whatever he would be feeling, he could snap and take it out on me. And I was so attuned to his feelings, it would hurt me terribly. I was extremely unhappy the last few months of our relationship. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make him react positively to anything. I thought he didn't want me in his life anymore. But every time I would want out, he would convince me otherwise with his "undeniable" love for me. He would pull me back, and I cared for him so much it would shake my resolve. He was never there for me. Throug
Won't you hurt me, my love?
won't you break me, my dear?
won't you cut me open
and leave me here?
I need you, my friend
won't you turn me away?
how will I hurt
if you don't turn me away?
It really hurts now
please, push me away
so that I'll miss you when I fold in grief
and wish you would stay
Where would I go, my love?
where would I run?
where will you go, my love,
when it's your turn?
I can't breathe anymore
will you whisper those sweet lies?
please, can you hear me?
I'll try to muffle the cries
I'm so sorry, my dear
won't you forgive a friend?
I'm sorry you couldn't be there
for your loving friend
There was once a girl with the grimmest tale
A girl who loved to no avail
She loved the one whom she called a friend-
a friend who brought her to meet her end
He locked her away in a tower above
far from all she held dear and loved
Only then would her pain be great
Alone in her prison with herself to hate
A fool she was, to place her life in his hands
for he was the cruelest in all the lands
He hid his own heart on the highest shelf
As for hers, he kept for himself
He smothered her when he kissed
He knew it was only he she missed
With lips laced with poison and sin,
he would press them against her tender skin
Her heart would ache when he t
you manipulated me
you played me
you wrecked me
you ruined me
you never loved me
you lied to me
you used me
and abused me
you hurt me
you betrayed me,
humiliated me,
destroyed me,
you never cared for me
it's like you stabbed my heart through
with a blunt knife
so, why won't you end my suffering
and take my life ?
looks like the ball is in your court
now please take the knife out
and slit my throat
I was sober when I crashed my almost perfect life. I wasn't intoxicated. It wasn't raining. I wasn't hydro-plating. The wind shields weren't rain stricken. I wasn't distracted by thunder or lightning. The brakes weren't nicked. Then why did I crash ? There was no drunk driver driving rash. But, I crashed anyway, and now my life was lying scattered all over the highway. They told me it was most likely a hit and run. They said there was no need for concern. But, I told them no. I told them if I were wiser, this wouldn't have happened so.
There were no broken bones, no visible scars. But, how was I supposed to move on with no wheels to spur ?
Blood! blood! blood!
draw it with a knife
draw it with a twist
draw it till you bleed dry
draw it on your wrist
Tears, tears, more tears
weep till you weep no more
weep, you are alone
weep, for you are bent and broken
weep till you turn to stone
Death, death, death
die for the ones you loved
die, for you have sinned
only in death shall you be redeemed
let Death come take you above
die now, you are dead within
I think I died that day. The day you tore my world apart, the day you crushed my heart into a million pieces. The ground beneath me crumbled away, and I was falling ... I was falling. When it all stopped, I hit rock bottom. I crashed, and was sliced and pierced through on the jagged shards of reality. The darkness consumed me, and I let it. There was no reason to fight it. It was over. I just wanted it to be over. The pain seared through my whole being, and I couldn't breathe. In that moment, I knew what death was like, and I waited. I waited to be put out of my misery.
And, still I wait....
I have never felt alive again since the day we sa